Amsterdam! City of Canals, Prostitutes, and Coffee Shops

Finally, on the train for our journey to Amsterdam with lots of stops. And each one was a race to find the bathroom so one of the ladies could go not on a train toilet. I left my camera charger in the socket on one of the trains. We bought some very mediocre sandwiches for lunch at one of the stops. And us ladies plus Joe, discovered that ALL of the toilets on the train were out of order. ALL. Seriously!?  After arriving in Amsterdam we struggled to find the trolley that would get us to the hotel. Someone had the idea they left hourly, so after we saw the preferable one pull away, we decided on a backup, getting off where the driver told us, and dragging our luggage ALL over the city. This was a pretty nice time to be carrying a backpack instead of rolling luggage, I thought.

After settling in the hotel we… hmm… well… uh… I bet we ate or drank… I think we met to drink the wine John and I had gifted to Priscilla from Argentina. Then we walked around a bit,

  We discovered that there were definitely boat tours in Amsterdam, and knew we wanted to go on one. After drinking the wine in the kids room, we all went down to the main plaza area and then over to where boats left for the tours, and discovered we could go on a tour later that evening. Perfect!  We went and got some dinner pre-tour and then got back to the boats in time for me to throw a couple of shoes through the windows on the boat to mark our seats before everybody else piled on.

Canal Tour. One thing we learned is that there are A LOT of bikes under water in the canals.

Picture from the canal tour

The boat tour was fun. There was a recorded audio tour, in a lot of languages including English, that was timed with the speed of the boat. So we all just plugged our headphones in, ordered a Heineken (way better than the North American version) or two, and sat back and relaxed while getting boated through the canals of Amsterdam and learning about different places, buildings, and history. Of course Tina’s favorite part is when we went through the red light district. “John, look! There’s a lady in a window! Ahhhh!” ….”Yes, Tina, this is the red light district, there’s lots of ladies in windows.” And there were already big plans to go check it out in the next couple of days.

The next morning was breakfast at the hotel! Yes! It was also pretty good. Not as good as the one in Brussels, but there were still pan au chocolates and strong coffee, so Acacia and I were both stoked. The plan for the day was to go to the Rijks museum. It’s a huge museum in the center of Amsterdam with an enormous collection of art, including some Rembrandt exhibits that are the main attraction. My favorite was a drinking gourd where a baby would float to the top to indicate that a couple is pregnant. Could you imagine finding out that way!? “Hey babe, could you pour me some beer? Thanks” A couple minutes later…. “um…. Honey, do you have something to tell me? I found a floating baby in my drink!”.

Don't remember the artist, but we all like this swan

One of the many Rembrandts

There was also an exhibit regarding drinking games, although I don’t remember what culture. And another that had toques from whale hunters… or something. Those were the non-famous memorable (although only semi, I suppose) ones for me.

John is asleep now, so you’ll have to deal with me and my memory… After the museum, we were lucky enough to discover a Ben and Jerry’s right next to our hotel. I had never had B&J out of the US, so I was stoked, EXCEPT they didn’t give samples!! What kind of B&J is that!?!? Or really ice cream shop!?! You gotta give samples!

Afterwards, we were on a mission to find the Tulip museum, because apparently the Dutch are famous for having an economic crash due to Tulip price speculation. This museum was much less official than the others we had been to. It was essentially a Tulip shop with a few displays and a couple films to get potential buyers in the door. Interesting nonetheless, and we learned that like 10 billion pounds of Tulips are sent from the Netherlands to the U.S. every year, and those pretty white and colored striped Tulips are that way because they have a disease.

On our walk to the Tulip museum

It had been a pretty museum filled day without a lot of beer or food consumption. Fortunately there was a cheese shop just near the Tulip place, so we went in and sampled all kinds of cheese: green pesto, red pesto, truffle, garlic, smoked, aged truffle, aged garlic, aged smoked, hard cheeses, soft cheeses. Basically we tried a ridiculous amount of cheese. And then, we bought cheese. And of course, to go with our cheese, we had to have some beer, so first Acacia and I went into the nearest bar and just ordered 6 beers and a small Prosecco for my mom. Then we sat by the canal, ate our cheese, drank our beverages, and played a game where we tried to get the boats passing by to wave at us. But we were really into this game. Fortunately I didn’t make any bets about it. Anyway, we ran out of beverages pretty fast, so I went on a second booze run. This time I went all the way to a market to get a six pack of beer for way cheaper than beer from a bar.

After a few hours of sitting around the canal waving loudly and aggressively as only Vivios would at people, some members of the family needed a rest. 

Our "get the boats to wave" spot

The adventurous of the crew decided that after a couple of beers was the appropriate time to sample some of what Amsterdam had to offer. So, Acacia, Tina, Diane, and I all walked down to the nearest “Coffee Shop” where we were going for a “Space” Muffin or two. The first coffee shop we walked into, a couple of us sat down at the wrong table, so got hassled by some guy telling us to move tables, which we promptly did so that we could divide our first space muffin as equally as possible into 4 parts. Our table was right on the canal, so we quickly ate our space muffin and then watched as boats went by on the canal. After some time, we opted for a space brownie and another muffin. Overall I think 3 (I though2… John things between 2 and 4) space things were consumed, which meant that by the time we had to be back at the hotel to meet the parents and Brodie, the good child, we were definitely “spacey” if you will. But, don’t forget, between round 1 and 2 we went for ice cream… I got chocolate and mango! 

Ok, we were pretty high. The plan was to go to dinner at an Indonesian food place, I think? Or maybe it was an Asian place? In any case, it was a big round table, so we could all sit across from each other and observe each others’ highness, which made things a bit more entertaining. Also, the waiters received food from the upstairs kitchen through a dumbwaiter type system, which at least Brodie and I were pretty impressed with the space efficiency of it. Also, Diane couldn’t do anything but stare blankly, and Acacia couldn’t stop giggling ( impossible to not, sitting across from Diane, who was pretty much drooling), especially when she watched Diane. John wasn’t exactly holding it together either… but Tina. Man, whata pro. And generally, it was a bit of an awkward dinner. Mostly because it was SO quiet.

After dinner, though, we got to walk back through the red lights district. So, of course my mom loved it and Tina and Diane definitely weren’t stoked or anything. I think the rest of us pretty much observed it for what it was; doll-like women posing in windows with red lights trying to catch anybody’s eye to beckon them in.

When we made it back to the hotel, my dad just really wanted to go out for beers. But, most of us were pretty ready for bed and definitely were not into getting beer, so I think that was the biggest let down of the space muffins for my dad. Don’t worry, even though we didn’t go out with Joe, we consumed plenty to satiate our munchies.

Also don’t worry, because the first thing we did the next day was a booze cruise.  We knew that we wanted to go on another tour of Amsterdam’s canals, and my dad was looking into getting a private boat. There are so many boats on the canal, and everyone looks like they are having a great time, but especially the private boats that are loaded with food and drink. So, after a huge breakfast again, we walked down to the boat launch area and asked the few companies there if we could get a private tour. None of them offered it. But, we did find a lady who was running a smaller boat where we would have about half the seats. Also, it was 10am in the morning, which meant that my dad bought a case of Heineken. Or he tried to anyway. The woman selling the beer didn’t believe he wanted a whole case, plus it was her entire inventor for the moment, so she only sold him 15. Still a pretty good amount for 3 people to split at 10 in the morning. Basically we turned this leisurely boat ride on the Amsterdam canals into a booze cruise for the Vivios. Perfect.

After the booze cruise we hit up the Van Gogh museum, which was pretty interesting because of the old paintings they had on display which had been painted over by Van Gogh, but with some kind of x-ray magic they could see the original image.  

And outside the Van Gogh museum was a big sculpture that said "I Amsterdam", that was like the spot for tourists to take pictures. So we did.

That evening I don’t remember what we did for dinner, but afterwards we went to a jazz show where we got some Duvel’s and my dad is pretty sure he saw a hooker trying to pick up some dudes at the bar. It was some pretty good music and perhaps our latest night in Amsterdam.

Our last day with the family we browsed a touristy area of shops, where Diane and I ended up getting matching shirts, not for the first time, after an  embarrassing incident she had with the cashier… we had also been looking for some herring to try, or, Priscilla had, although she wasn’t too into trying it herself (later in the trip I had herring, P, so you gotta too). We ended up finding a grocery store and loading up on some legit picnic food.Seriously legit. Bread, cheese, olives, honey, fruit? Wine, and some sort of meat… and took it all to the field behind the museum where we played Frisbee and watched some sort of performance  from these kids who were supposed to be on a field trip to the museum, but had gone into the fountain, so were stuck outside playing all day? Something like that?

John, Tina, and I were diggin the sunshine so we stuck around and played some more, with plans to meet the family later. Soon enough we realized we  were seriously lacking beer, and had been playing a game, which essentially boiled down to who ever made the first mistake would have to go buy beer. I was counting on that being John when I made the rules, but it ended up being me. Off I went in my summer dress, with cash in hand or bra, nothing else. I chose my beer, which Floris and Mike had introduced to us in Southern Chile, a Belgian quad, and was promptly asked for my ID, which I definitely did not have with me. And there was no bargaining with this lady. Off I went empty handed. I hadn’t been carded in a long time. Never in South America, where the drinking age is 18, never in CA in December, I don’t think, and I can’t remember a time when I was living in Powell River and the drinking age is 19. BUT in Amsterdam, a city some might call the world’s most liberal, where the drinking age for beer is 16, I couldn’t buy it. Seriously?! For those of you who don’t know, I am 22.

Tina ended up going to buy the beer, because she was the only one with ID (all 3 of us were of age… for the record), and wasn’t carded, of course, we played some jungle speed with kids from New York,and then more Frisbee. Not to be understated here is the fact that we had already had about a half a bottle of wine each with the rest of the family, plus 2 of these Belgian quads which were around 10%, so  we were feeling pretty friendly. At some point we all decided a bathroom was required, so headed to the museums, which of course required a line before an entrance fee. We ended up at a restaurant ordering more beer and a brownie, because who could resist, even though at this point we were on our way to meet for dinner. We finished the brownie probably faster than we could all use the bathroom, or finish our beers (which certainly did not compliment the dessert) so we ordered another. This one was served without whipped cream, not that we noticed, and by the time the waitress had returned with the cream, the brownie was long gone, not that she dallied, at all. Oops. It was almost like one of those moments when you are brought something that MAY be finger food at a restaurant so you eat it, only to find out that once you finished, the wait staff is bringing you utensils and is a bit disgusted. Yeah. One of those.

**Speaking of those moments… When we were in Santiago we went out for Indian food, which ended up being pricey and less than average. A bummer, really. Before the meal we had lassi, of course, and they snack that was set on the table reminded me a bit of cat food… little cracker things. We had these incredibly intricate settings in front of us, so the boys were grabbing finger fulls of this food and dropping it on their dishes, while I was just going bowl to mouth. In not too long the waiter showed up with our plates… to set on top of the settings the boys had been using as plates. John ended up having to lift his up and pour his crumbs onto his actual plate, which the waiter was still holding. We have learned once again, that we are not fit for nice places…

Anyway, after we left the restaurant we had a map, where Priscilla had circled where we were supposed to meet them. Somehow, Tina was the most fit to lead. She must have been studying the map or something. She got us there, without any issues (that were her fault, anyway. John encountered a bicycle on the walk…). We ended up at a place with outdoor seating where we enjoyed more drinks, before heading off to dinner.

Pictures on the skinny bridge while Tina, Acacia, and I were all playing Frsibee

This other place with outdoor seating was not without its moments. First of all, my mom immediately noticed that the 3 of us were a bit more lubricated than the rest of the family, and pretty much everybody else at the place for that matter. So, while the rest of the family was drinking beer, we weren’t allowed to? What!? Right. I ordered a beer. I’m pretty sure Acacia nor Tina did though. (I think John was a bit too lubricated to remember…  the rest of the family was drinking wine, which I joined in on. Tina wasn’t allowed to drink more, and John wasn’t either, but ordered a beer anyway) However, as we were sitting there about to get ready to head to dinner, this pretty attractive Dutch couple came biking up with a cart of liquor and orange colored liquid to mix into it for some fancy mixed drinks. They were trying to just sell the drinks and get some pictures for publicity, and, naturally, my dad decided to get involved. He bought two of these drinks (my mom protested, but apparently she was overruled). We then realized that Tina’s Nalgene and dress combo matched the color of the drinks with a blue umbrella and had to take a picture with the drink in hand, which meant she finally got a beverage. We took pictures with these two promoters and  then off they biked, and we quickly finished the drinks and the beer to head to the Rice Table Indonesian restaurant.

This restaurant was like THE Indonesian restaurant in Amsterdam. We showed up, with a reservation of course, and we already knew what we were getting; 3 trays (like 34 dishes, or something absurd, including the vege ones for me) of single dishes of Indonesian food ranging in spice from mild to hottest. That were refilled when you emptied them. The waiter came over to see what we wanted, and my dad told him the full Rice Platter, and then the waiter suggested a starter of “prawns”. Ha! Well these “prawns” came out, and they were like the size of a lobster, which meant it was basically a meal in itself. Afterwards the trays of food came out, with one tray of only vegetarian food to make it easy for Acacia, or that was just how it came? Anyway, started eating and it wasn't that spicy, so I decided to go for the hottest dish just for fun. Bad idea! Not that it was super deadly, I mean it was painful and brought tears to my eyes, but I couldn't taste anything for the next 10 minutes , which meant that everybody else got to eat all the best dishes while I waited to cool down. Turns out you can just ask for more of the good dishes, so it wasn't too devastating. Also, it basically turned into an all you can eat buffet of these Indonesian dishes with the “bring out more of the empty dishes” rule in play. Yum! We ate and ate, with no beer surprisingly because we were drinking carbonated water, and then when everybody was full Tina, my dad, and I all went in for the spiciest dish. And we all sat there with our tongues out panting like dogs and tearing up for a bit waiting for the heat to die down. It was a bonding experience.

As this was our last night in Amsterdam, and we had yet to "go out", Diane had it in her mind that it was going to happen tonight. When we got back to the hotel, dad, Acacia, Diane, and I all "went out." Here's what it was like:

1) Walk to the square right next to our hotel and see some girl spinning fire. (this was the highlight of "going out")

2) Walk towards the bars and try to go to one. See a bunch of hostel/pub-crawl groups going from bar to bar. 

3) Get solicited by pub-crawl organizers to join a pub-crawl. We REALLY don't want to join one of these pub-crawls, so don't show much interest. The organizers think we are playing hardball on the price so they lower the price and offer us free shots. Tempting as it was, the vomit we had to avoid on the ground behind the pub-crawl groups was a definite turn off.

4) Decide the bars probably aren't for us. And, neither are pub-crawls.

5) Sit down at a table on the square and order some beers. See who can find the most 8-and-above's. Realize there aren't as many attractive people in Amsterdam as we thought. I guess its psychological or something. Change game to "find the largest differential in a couple or group of friends". 

6) Somebody finds a high differential and calls it a night

Fire spinner in the plaze outside our hotel

The next day we ate with the family, and said goodbye as they piled into a taxi for the airport. Around lunch we trekked to the train station with all our gear to meet Mike and Floris, who we travelled with for about three weeks earlier on this trip.